Dear Future Self,
I could advise you, try to protect you, try and control you, but none of these things are my intention. I believe so deeply in you, I trust you, and I know you will never stop growing. The best part of human existence is that we can't possibly know the future, so all we can do is use our experiences as tools, tools to take on whatever comes, and I am confident that you've gained enough tools to be the best possible you, to let the right self take charge, and to let go and be.
Thank you, I love you, and I am already so very proud of you'.
'The Manifesto of Selves. A Journey Inward'.
by: Tara Newbigging
To Love “Feelings for which words may not even exist”
Sometimes people enter our lives, and we adore them so deeply; so deeply in fact, that we scramble and fight to do anything in our power to keep them there. We let them enter, but we are almost unable to let them leave. However, we need to understand is that people are often mirrors. They are images of our ever-changing selves and as we change, we must at times leave some of these mirrors, these depictions of former selves behind. We don’t want to, we long to keep them there forever, but in doing this we are losing sight of their purposes. These people enter our lives and are entirely pivotal, but if we force them to stay longer than intended, we may loose a part of the self that we are slowly becoming.
To love, to be all encompassed by feelings we are not able to put into words, feelings for which words may not even exist. To reduce feelings of such magnitude into words would be of no use, because you and only you can understand them. We mustn’t bother trying to make them accessible to others, to make them imminent. To love is to express, but in a way that we have very little control over, it is to let go, to feel, and to let these feelings take the reins if even just for a moment. Words may never suffice, but at times, they are all we have to work with.
Why.
Why must we be such fragile creatures, so doe-eyed and youthful. Why do we break, again and again. Why do we never cease to give in, to break down, to love. To throw the entirety of ourselves into another.
To love. We mustn’t seek to understand why we do such things, but we must seek to harness everything good about the nature of love, and to embody it. Kind, forgiving, patient, love. Love is not a fight, love is a surrender. In this surrender we do not have to sacrifice who we are, but we must drop our guard to the best of our ability. We walk around as if we are empty vessels needing to be filled, and we feel that love is what we are missing. This is all wrong, and in fact it is absolutely problematic. We must find fulfillment within ourselves to a point when we have excess love to give, and this is when we are ready to seek another. A touch, a smile, a catch of eyes, love starts in the smallest of instants, and these small instants hold so much power. Love is the most powerful feeling, it can propel us to find ourselves, lose ourselves, or both simultaneously. Love is simple, and yet so complex. To love is not to give one thing to another, it is a state of being. You must embody love, offer it first to yourself, unconditionally, and then open up and offer it to others. People fade in and out of your life. This does not mean we stop loving them, or love them any less, a part of them is always within us. Love self first, because inside of yourself, are fragments of everyone who helped you become who you are today. We shed layers as we grow. We step out of our old skins and into a new being. In this new state of being, why would we remain in the same location? We grow, we change, we shed, we must be in a space both mentally and physically that complements our current state of being. We must not be just content with where we are, we must be in love with it.
-T
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